Thursday, October 15, 2009


I was just going back over some old blogs that I have written in the past several months, and I came across one that I wrote when a cousin of mine had been shot entitled "Where are they". In that entry, I wrote a prayer that pierced my heart once again. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of every day life, we tend to loose site of what really is down deep in our hearts. It is neat to go back and read some of the things that we go through. At the time I wrote that particular entry, my heart was so broken, and I wanted nothing more than to do what was right in or Father's eyes. The truth is, that is indeed what is down inside me. That is what is always down inside me, but some how I always seen to forget to some degree. When I read this entry, particularly the prayer, My heart once again broke. I want to re post this prayer in hopes that it will remind you all as well. Let God do His perfect work in us all, and let the whole world see, once and for all, that Jesus truly does live. As some lyrics in a great song from the late Michael Jackson says...:If we want to make the world a better place, then take a look at yourself and make a change". Let us all take a look at ourselves, and see how bad we are, and let The One who really can change us do His will, and we will no doubt see the world around us change. Enjoy this prayer, and make it your own. I love you all.

"Instead of going to some discipleship seminar this year, how about just falling down before our father and from the depths of you heart, cry out to Him, and say God, I don’t know about the church that I attend, but I want to be fully yours. Break me oh God. Take all that I have and all that I am. Teach me to love the way you Love. Show me how to lay my life down for those who are oppressed and in bondage. Use me oh God, to open my arms out and embrace those who need to feel your touch. My life is not my own…it belongs to you my King. Open my eyes my Lord, that I may never miss someone in need, and give me the understanding to supply that need.Teach me to walk the way that you walk, and help me to teach others to do the same. Oh Father, I don’t want religion, entertainment,doctrines, or another powerless church service…I want…no,… I need your Life. You Life illuminating the very ground that I walk. That all who would look upon me would see only You.  Oh my beloved, this is my prayer….this is my plea".
God bless you all...Good night.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Little Moments of Truth

Andrew Peterson sings a song called little moments of truth. It is a song about seeing little moments of Truth (Jesus -The Truth) every day. I see little moments like that from time to time. I guess if I payed attention a little better I would see more, but you know how it gets when we get into the daily grind of things. Anyway, we live in a world today that it seems that love is something that is a rarity; it is most defiantly not the norm. It is most common to see people always out for themselves. After all, that is the gospel that this country preaches. Life is all about you, and if you want anything in life then you have to reach out and take it. This is the gospel known as secular humanism, and it is being preached in every government ran church in America…known as the public school. This doctrine has infected this country so bad, that we now live in a world that so few really care about anyone but themselves; however, despite this fact, we can still see little moments of truth, little moments of love scattered here and there. Let me share one with you now.

I work for an ambulance company, and on one particular day I was left down in a town here in Rhode Island because there was a patient that was being released from the hospital. He was an elderly man, probably in his eighties. I was about an hour and a half from home and I should had been off work an hour before I was to pick this patient up, so I was already tired from working a full day. When I picked him up I asked the nurses if I was to take him to a nursing home, and they said no, but that he was going to the home of a niece of his . I could hear the negativity in their voices when they told me this, so it was apparent that they did not agree with the set up and thought he belonged in a nursing home. I did not think much about it. After all, my job was just to take this fella home, so I prepared him for transport. As I got this man to his destination, I pulled up into his nieces driveway. The area that she lived in was a very poor area, and her home was extremely small, but pretty well kept. I did not look all through her house, but I would think that there was about three rooms, a kitchen, one bedroom, and a very small living room. The living room was well over half way taken up by a hospital bet that she had prepared for her uncle. I asked this lady why she would do such a thing. Why would she take in her uncle like this. After all, it is not like it was her father or something. She told me that he is her blood, and she loved him to much to let him go to some nursing home. I thought, man she seems to be having a hard time providing for herself not less a very sick old man. To top it all off, this women handed me a ten dollar bill as a tip for bringing him home. I told her that I could not take the money, and that this is what I do. I told her that I am already getting paid for this and that she needed to keep her money, but she insisted that I take it. She said, “as you can see we do not have much, but what we do have we give” This is what this women told me word for word. Those words still stick out in my mind very clearly. The word that hit me the most was the word “we”. We…She had no one there but herself and now her sick uncle. Her uncle is the one that made that statement a “we” statement. Wow…what this women is saying is a little moment of truth. Her uncle is not just her mother or father’s brother, he is a we. This women has not bowed down to the gospel of this world. In her world, there is not an “I” there is a we. Her uncle is bone of her bone and flesh of her flesh. His lack of good health was her lack of good health. His problems are her problems. Better yet…her love becomes his love. Wow…this is the True Gospel of Christ. There is no I in the kingdom of God. There is only a we.

Jesus poured his life out for us, and we are to poor ours out for all as well. If we are indeed in His kingdom, then there is no “I” only we. Your problems are my problems, your debt is my debt, your joy is my joy, and my love is your love. Now that does not mean to start sending me all of your monthly bills….I know what your thinking. :) I am actually thinking of sending mine to all of you…LOL.

Let us all pay real close attention to all that God would like to show us from day to day, and may we always look for those little moments of truth. God bless you all…I love you.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Home...How Do I Get There?

Home…. such an interesting word don’t you think? I have heard this word a billion and one times in my life. I have used the word myself many times, yet I am pondering the true meaning of this word at the moment. Those of you who know me, know that I am a thinker. I am always thinking and pondering things. It has proven to be a strength and a weakness to me over the years. I am not real sure which one it will prove to be on this subject matter, but the risk of this has never stopped me from blurting it out before, so why start now.

I think the English vocabulary is one of the weakest in the world. We use words so loosely and we literally strip our words from their true meaning. We also will use words in a broad spectrum taking away the power from that word. For example…LOVE. We use this word to describe many different things. ” I love that car…or I love pizza”. Then we will take that same word and turn it loose on our spouse, family member, children, etc. What is wrong with that picture? How can we use the same word to describe how much we like a car or favorite food, and then use the very same one to describe how we feel about someone? I just does not make logical sense.

The Greek language, as found in the New Testament, has one word to describe how one will feel about, say, a good friend (phileo), and an entirely different word to describe how one would feel about their wife or children (agapaō) Of course, the translations into english converts both words into the same old pathedic work the we generalise for everything we like a great deal…..LOVE. We will say I love this kind of candy and then turn around and say I love God. I am not to sure if our Father is pleased with this comparison.
I say all of this to make a point. I believe the word “Home” is used in a similar way. (By the way, I just noticed that my font has somehow changed, but I am to lazy to go back and fix it, so don’t be confused here.) We have all heard the term “home is where you hang your hat” or “home is where the heart is”, but I would like to challenge this notion by simply asking….is it really? I have heard this word used to describe the hotel one was staying at at the time, the place where they were raised as a child, or the place where one would receive their mail. Let us see what our good friend Webster says. ( 1: one’s place of residence, 2: the social unit formed by a family living together, 3: a familiar or usual setting : congenial environment; also : the focus of one’s domestic attention, 4: a place of origin, 5: an establishment providing residence and care for people with special needs, 6: the objective in various games like home plate in baseball) There are a few more, but I am getting tired of copy and pasting here. Nevertheless, I hope you get my point here… One word that says a number of things.
I have been thinking much about home the past few days; maybe the past several years, though I may have not realized. I know, as a child of God, when I leave this world I will be home with the lover of my soul, but what about here on this side of eternity? Is there such a place for a disciple? Can a Christian have a place to call “home” in this life, or should it be exempt from the disciple’s vocabulary? I know Jesus said that He had nowhere to lay His head. I also know that the “WORLD” is not home to us that are called out of darkness into His marvelous light. I further well know that there are many scriptures that teach us that we are set apart from this world and that our home is with the Father, but why are so many people, who are supposed to fit in this category, spending so much of their time preparing and vocalizing their “home/homes” on this side? Many work and work to provide a “good home” for their families and themselves. We spend so much time, money, and effort to make sure we are comfortable in this life. My only question is… is this okay or is this a direct contradiction to the scriptures themselves?
I can’t help but to think of my grandmother, who just “went home” this last January. This women loved God. All this women would talk about was or beloved Father. I am reminded of a day that I was sitting with her at the kitchen table, and we were talking about God when she seemed to have left me there all by myself, though she was sitting right in front of me. She was looking out the window while she began to tell me many of the times the Lord helped her through the years, when all of a sudden, with her eyes looking up to the sky while looking out that window…the sun shining down upon the silver hair of hers, she just simply said…”Oh Lord how much longer must I stay in this world? How much longer must I wait to go home”. My grandmother had absolutely no doubt where her home was. She had no earthly treasures. She had no fancy house, or shinny new car in her driveway. My grandma loved the Father the way she did because she found her home in Him, and He had a home in her. She had no ties to this world, nothing that made her want to stay in this place. She wanted to go home.
I have traveled many miles, done may things, and joined a number of churches. I have joined in with Christian communities, poured my heart into several ministries, and believed in many men’s visions. I have endured hard times, broken hearts, and disappointment time and time again. My life’s journey thus far seems to have already been an eternity. I am tired and beaten down. My strength is almost gone. My patients have ran thin, and I feel I have reached the end, of at least this leg of my journey. You see, all of this time I have been trying to find home. I have always felt homeless. I have been on a pursuit to find a home that can fill the empty place in my soul. Even as a child I never felt at home, but I believe that I am finally starting to understand some things. I am beginning to really understand what my grandmother would describe in nearly every word she spoke. My grandmother felt just like I do, only she had already learned that her home could not be found on this plaint. Home can not be found, not only in earthly treasures, but it also can not be found in any ideology of man, their visions of God’s will, interpretations of scripture, churches/communities, or any other form or structure. I feel homeless because I am homeless in this earth. I do not belong here. No matter where I go, or what I do, I will never find home nor the feeling of home on this side.
The truth is, no matter where I go it seems everyone knows what God wants, or at least they believe they do. One man believes it is five fold ministry and this will usurer a the last day revival, so he pours his whole life into seeing this grow and come to pass. Another believes that God has given him the vision of what the body of Christ should look like. It looks like a few hundred people sitting around on a farm some ware, living in the same house as everyone, arguing with one another about all the flaws that they find in each other through this structure of living, and some how, through all of that, the world will see Christ, so he pours his life into that. Another one is just happy to be doing church the way they have always done it and believes it is THE WAY, so he pours his life into that. Yet another thinks it’s all about numbers and how many baptisms they had last year, and they go to conference after conference to learn what “program” changes they can make to have bigger numbers next year. I can go on and on with this line, but I will spare you the pain. The thing is, it was all of these things and more that has made me understand what Paul meant in 2Co 11:3 when he said “But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” What is the simplicity in Christ? Well I have my own ideals of what they may be, but I can definitely tell you that none of the things mentioned above fit into that category because there is absolutely nothing that is simplistic about it.
What if it is as simple as this…what if we just love God and love each other as ourselves? What if it is not about one mans ideals/vision, church doctrine, baptizems, numbers, ministries, or building anything? What if it is just about loving those in front of you. Isn't that the example Jesus left with us. After all…He said that this very thing is the fulfillment of the law and the prophets. FULFILLMENT!
Well, I don’t know much, but this I do know…I am done chasing after a place to call home. I have found my home…IN CHRIST, and CHRIST alone. So many out there that are searching for “God’s Will” for them. Where does God want you to go, or what does He want you to do for Him? What is your calling? Let me help….Love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and then love you neighbor as yourself. I promise you, that is His will for you, and all that are called by His name. Let us never make ourselves at home in this world. Not in earthly goods, or “Christian” movements. I know this seems to go against the grain of the flesh, but duh…it is supposed to.
Only one of Webster’s definitions of home seems right to me... one’s own country. My country is not of this world, so I feel like, as Paul and my grandmother, though it is needful for me to remain here in this earth for now, My heart is set on going home, so I can finally receive what I have so long been searching for.
Just a thinker thinking once again. God help me…Amen.